Sports

Beautiful to be getting this one out of the way from the start. Not since Kevin Costner in Draft Day would such a huge plot twist be on the table.

Perhaps the only reason DeAndre Hopkins pushed to be traded or released is because he wants Kyler Murray to stop playing so many high-end AAA video games. After seeing the loss of Nuk, Murray commits to abstinence from all video games and Hopkins comes back at a reasonable price for everyone involved. Kevin Costner rejoices somewhere far past Yellowstone.

The likelihood of this happening? 1/32. Murray isn’t giving up his one true passion.

This fit works, despite being pretty unlikely. Hopkins is a perfect fit alongside Kyle Pitts and Drake London, but it’s unlikely he’d be willing to go without a huge contract and the Falcons are committed to the run game.

Literally impossible. Never going to happen. Been covered. Professionally.

Hopkins loves Josh Allen. Honestly, if it weren’t for the salary cap I’d probably peg this close to the top. The entire roster is built to win now and the biggest risk would be Stefon Diggs playing prima donna if Hopkins starts getting too many looks, but I’d expect the team and staff to keep everything under control. The Bills are great and Hopkins would be a fantastic addition. If they can move around the salary without losing anybody. I give the odds of this happening three snow shovels.

Would Hopkins want to play with a rookie? Or this? Doubtful. The biggest thing the Panthers have going for them is their salary cap and, after trading away DJ Moore, they probably should look into throwing enough money his way to make him consider it. If Hopkins decides to go with the best offer, the team is built well enough on defense in particular that it’s not impossible he’d be headed to the playoffs sooner rather than later. Considering his open wish to play for a top quarterback, however? I’d give the odds of this happening one Andy Dalton.

The Bears salary cap situation is perfect. If nobody else offers Hopkins a long-term contract, I’d say give him a high-end one-year contract with almost all guarantees and see what happens. Again, with this situation it’s hard to imagine Hopkins choosing to play with Justin Fields. Fields continues to grow as a quarterback, but he’s not considered by most to be anywhere near one of the elite passers in the game. His running game is incredible, though, and with the right contract offer Hopkins could definitely consider it. I don’t see it as a great fit overall, but anything is possible. I give the odds one classic SNL Bears skit.

This would be incredible if it happened, but considering the roster I’d put the odds at “Unless he’d consider a switch to running back”.

The Dawd Pound says it isn’t going to happen. It’s in my best interest to agree just to keep them on their leash.

Jerry Jones would probably do just about anything to make it happen, so I’ll give the odds one Stephen Jones blood sacrifice.

Russel Wilson is not on Hopkins preferred list of quarterbacks he’s interested in playing for. He’s not on my preferred list of quarterbacks he should play for. Overall, not a bad choice if they could somehow make the money work and you believe in Sean Payton, but I’d say the odds of this happening are about a mile high.

THE LIONS!

Would be an excellent choice. Honestly, they should be one of his top choices considering the way they played last year. They would have a strong running game, potentially one of the best wide receiver trios in the leage, and, obviously, one of the greatest quarterbacks in the league right now, but I don’t know if that’s enough to entice him.

It should be, though. He’d make a great fit. I’d put the odds of this happening at about one Ford Raptor.

Hopkins wants a passionate quarterback. The Packers quarterback is named Love. Is this a match made in heaven?

No. I’d put the odds of him playing for the Packers slightly lower than odds of Brett Favre returning to the play Packers. Somewhere below twenty percent.

I probably don’t hate this fit as much as most, but the odds of it happening are pretty small. Still, the odds of him becoming a Texan are higher than the odds of him becoming a Raven. Quote me on it.

Why, though?

You would be surprised. It’s not quite taking your talents to South Beach, but it does have similar weather and the same tax implications. This is absolutely within the realm of possibility and considering the division it’s smart of him to consider it. One Doug Pederson.

Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce?

Cheeseburgers?

From a pure team standpoint this is one of three teams where he should end up, but if the rumors of him wanting to to end up on the east or west coast are true I can only give this the odds of one hamburglar.

Davante Adams and Hopkins on the same team would be fascinating, but it would be a weird gamble for Hopkins just as it has been for Adams.

Unlikely to happen without some massive team restructuring but he’s made it clear he’s interested. What are the odds the Chargers prefer to ditch Keenan Allen or Mike Williams? This is the Bengals situation all over again. Great fit if salary caps didn’t exist, but this isn’t the NBA.

They can’t afford to do it unless Matt Stafford gives him the rights to Pizza Pizza, which is far too much for any man to give up. But I doubt they’re complaining too much about it.

Bengals. Chargers. Dolphins. The three teams Kyler Murray will likely play with him as on Madden. But not going to happen.

Not going to lie, I imagine it’s going to be hard for Hopkins to turn this down, but I think he probably will.

It’s actually a pretty good fit from a team standpoint but not great from a salary cap standpoint and there doesn’t appear to be any interest on his part. He should consider it, but I’d say the odds are pretty ice cold.

If he wants everything EXCEPT a great QB, this is where he ends up. I think he wants a great QB. I don’t expect any cheese for Mac here.

Somewhat fun to think about, as they’ve got a potentially exciting offense. But no. This is the B-Team of the Bengals, Chargers, Dolphins debate.

Great need and fit. For the Giants, who also don’t have the best salary cap situation. I don’t see why Hopkins would even consider it, but New York New York.

At this point I assume Aaron Rodgers made an agreement with some deity during his retreat into an alternate dimension, so it’s probably pretty high up there. It’s an overall good fit, a well-built team and well-coached. If he wants to go to New York this is the New York you York to.

Somehow, the Eagles have the cap space to make this work. It Hurts me to say this, but this is definitely the second team on the list he should be seriously considering.

Incredibly unlikely. First, the Steelers would have to restructure their cap. Second Hopkins would have to be interested. It’s not a bad fit and they’ve got the consistent management situation he wants. It would be a huge surprise but worth looking into for the Steelers.

The third team he should be looking at and one that is extremely stacked on both sides of the ball. Consistent management and great coaching make it a great fit, but the salary cap would need some adjusting. This is the third team he should be seriously looking at but also the third one on the list. He’s talked about how he wants a great quarterback, but not a Purdy one, making the Eagles and Chiefs more likely.

There appear to be zero rumblings of this happening, but I’d be fascinated if it did. Incredibly unlikely, but I’ve learned to not write them off.

Baker Mayfield and a horrible cap situation? What’s not to love?

The Titans are desperate for a wide receiver and seem likely to keep Tannehill and Henry. From their perspective, this would be a huge get and, as long as Henry stayed healthy, would make them incredibly competitive.

For Hopkins? I don’t see it. I think it’s a good enough fit, but as a free agent he’s going to find a handful of better options.

Honestly, it’s MORE likely he would end up on the Wizards than the Commanders at this point. It’s like expecting Kyler Murray to put down Call Of Duty. Not. Gonna. Happen.